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Juryrigged // CRIMSON VOID CLICHES LIST 01

  1. Don't recruit/follow idiots.
  2. Grow some balls.
  3. Revert to Rules 1 and 2 for further instruction.
  4. Make an original name.
  5. DH doesn't need original names - he's a badass.
  6. Be a man and take any challenges coming your way.
  7. Don't pussy foot on a challenge, or consider yourself defeated.
  8. Be sure to use the following words at least once for every char/weapon, but preferably more: lament, loathe, soul, darkness, bitter, agony, despair, misery, anguish, pain, suffer, woe, hate, death, suffering and nihilism.
  9. Repeat rule 8.
  10. Your main weapon should always be the Masamune. Always.
  11. Actually intend to do more than sit around doing nothing.
  12. if not a masamune, a katana, because you're bad ass.
  13. Actually follow rule 11.
  14. Plagerism is the highest form of flatterly. Always remember that!
  15. If you can't get a masamune or katana, get a spork. Deadliest. Weapon. EVAR.
  16. Just because your character has a Buster sword, spikey hair, memory loss and doesn't talk much, does NOT make him Cloud. You're a beautiful unique snowflake.
  17. Materia is your friend, so are summon monsters. Remember that. Conversly, the same goes with long silver hair, huge sword, and a god-complex.
  18. When lost, seek Final Fantasy for inspiration.
  19. If you've followed all these rules to the letter, we suggest a focus group immediately.
  20. If you are somehow losing a debate, claim "it's just a game board anyway," and then run away.
  21. Sunlight is not your friend. Resort to staying on your ass to the cpu for 5 hours straight, with the curtains closed. Junk food is highly suggested when making a motif that doesn't look like you AT ALL.
  22. You really do have that P.h.D.
  23. Ability to type equals instant novel.
  24. Rule 23 is the best rule evar.
  25. A thesaurus and dictionary are never needed. You know all the words you need to sound badass.
  26. Quality = Quanity.
  27. If not following rule 25, then always use the thesaurus for EVERY WORD IN YOUR POST. It makes you sound really smart.
  28. Italics is not your friend. BOLD is.
  29. Who needs spell check, you are smart.
  30. Spell check owns proofreading any day of the week.
  31. Become a ninja, samurai, space-galactic superhero/warrior! Why? Because you're so badass.
  32. Nothing is new, so why bother being creative? Waste of time.
  33. Final Fantasy is a hip title for any work.
  34. Always have a shadowed past, where your sensai was brutally murdered and you must avenge him, which is why you created this faction. And it's just badass.
  35. Consult the movie "Karate Kid."
  36. Parents are dead, unless they're evil and thusly your mortal enemies
  37. If 35 doesn't help, watch Karate Kid 2.
  38. If your story is begining to lose steam, turn it into a lemon.
  39. Should Rule 38 fail, turn it into a fanfic lemon.
  40. Then suck on that lemon.
  41. You must never have two living parents. if you're a guy, your father must be dead, whereas if you're a woman, you're mother must be dead.
  42. Should Rule 41 fail, you were raised by wolves.
  43. It's okay to plagiarize when facing someone better; they can't possibly be better than a book. Ever.
  44. Rule 1 is now CV > you.
  45. When making a name, always create names with elements in them, or stuff that makes you sound smart or badass.
  46. Amnesia is a good way to build a character.
  47. As are dream sequences.
  48. Duel-weilding enchanted katanas that represent good and evil is a must.
  49. Never use a weapon that isn't a masamune, murasame or katana. That isn't badass
  50. If you must, though, use a scythe.
  51. Combine rules 48 and 49.
  52. A katana can block a two-handed sword with a mere 'flick of the wrist.'
  53. Magus is a good character to base yours off of.
  54. Should all else fail, try a new approach. Such as, TWO Masamunes.
  55. You can never have enough angst.
  56. It doesn't matter if people tell you your weapon isn't unique, or that someone else carries the same weapon. Their's are just fakes and you hold the real masamune/murasame/katana of d00n.
  57. Trencoats and uzi's compliment said Katana.
  58. Be nothing but the best of the best of the best. Or just be badass enough to join the Crimson Void.
  59. Rule 58 was not a parody. Neither was this one. >_>
  60. If all else fails, base your character off Neo from the Matrix and Jar Jar from Star Wars. IE: "Mesa know kung fu, muy muy!" or "Me'sa da One! Me'sa k33l j00!"
  61. All areas, weapon, or technique names must include words like "despair" or "sorrow" to sound more tragic and mysterious.
  62. The Matrix was really an intelligent movie. Just like Xenogears didn't have a convulted plot.
  63. Adding 'neo' to something makes it ten-times better.
  64. CAPS LOCK IS A GOOD WAY TO DESCRIBE A BOOMING VOICE. PLUS, YOU DON'T HAVE TO TYPE ALL THOSE 'WURDS.'
  65. Sepiroth was not a girly-looking man.
  66. AlTeRnAtInG cApS is good for dream sequences.
  67. Cliché is the only way to go. Always name your stories something to do with 'Final' or 'Last', only to spawn numerous sequels/prequels.
  68. No one minds posts that all look like this, with no line breaks and no paragraphs.
  69. Sephiroth is your role model.
  70. If all else fails, copy Lord of the Rings.
  71. If Rule 70 fails, any crappy fantasy novel will do
  72. If that fails, go Star Wars.
  73. Robert Jordan = YOUR GAWD
  74. Swords of light > j00
  75. If all else fails, use anime.
  76. Read rule 73 again, closely. HE HAS TEN BOOKS OF 1000 PAGES EACH. HE MUST BE GOOD!
  77. Anyone who describes magic as 'The True Source' and describes magic as threads/weaves = l33t. Read: Rule 73.
  78. Read all the guidelines before proceeding to the next rules.
  79. Just screw the rules and go touch yourself at night. It's your best chance in RPing.
  80. It's is possessive, and poetry dealing with suicide = l337
  81. Pronouns are bad.
  82. They're called conventions because they're not rules. They don't have to be followed!
  83. Every female NPC swoons over your mysterious past and murky future, the more angst the better.
  84. Snetence fragments, and run-on's make your faction that much better.
  85. Misuse of apostrophe's is COOL!
  86. Your faction must have more nukes than China and the US combined, otherwise you'll lose any RP war.
  87. Your character is 11,XXX years old and immortal.
  88. 1337sp33k and n00bism automatically make your faction cooler.
  89. That said, they look 18.
  90. If swords and the like aren't cool enough for you, go for slippers, paper fans, refigerators, or pillows to help in your decision of weaponry.
  91. When outsmarted in an argument, cry foul play and proceed to do nothing to prove the other person wrong. They don't deserve your brilliance anyway.
  92. Should rule 90 fail, just say "get a life." That's an automatic win.
  93. Your MPEGs count as girlfriends. Brag about them.
  94. The more members in your faction the better you are, by default
  95. Always have a beautiful female NPC in distress, just for your character to save.
  96. The less detail in a post is better. Who wants to read anyway?
  97. Checking and balancing power shouldn't be in your vocabulary. Your faction only needs one inept leader.
  98. Clarity is not an issue.
  99. If you must include detail, make sure to organize it as badly as possible, and include at least ten pages.
  100. Great idea for a new planet: It's all glass! And has six suns!
  101. Old people are always wise immortal mages, but die just as they're going to tell you something important.
  102. Go apeshit on OotFW.
  103. Forty posts = insta novel
  104. Typo's can be remedied by mispelling every word.
  105. You don't need physics. You can do anything in dueling!
  106. Being a procrastinating whorebag is good; the longer the wait, the more badass you are.
  107. After your first duel you are a "master."
  108. Before 106, you are still godlike.
  109. You don't need feasibility at all. You don't even have to take into account your surroundings, even if you're on fire. You're invincible!
  110. Dodging bullets is as easy as typing *I knew they were coming so I dodged them.*
  111. Ignore 106. YOU'RE ALREADY THE MASTER OF YOUR OWN WORLD!
  112. Your writing style is always the best there is, period.
  113. A series of duels means a massive multi board RP involving everyone on GameFAQs.
  114. If a person is actually better than you, and sounds better than you, it's because he's cheezing. He can't be better than you. You're badass.
  115. You are incapable of cheeze. Anyone who says different is jealous/an infidel.
  116. Running to other boards/factions for help is what it's all about.
  117. Microsoft Word means you need not proofread.
  118. Always keep everyone who ever joined you on the roster, whether they've posted in the last year or not.
  119. If you're factions not the best of the best, or the CV, refer to rule 115
  120. Everyone needs a pointless rank to brag about.
  121. Wait, your faction is the best.
  122. Rule 118 doesn't apply to you because you are a badass. But you're so much of a badass you'll follow the rule just to prove you're a badass.
  123. ...
  124. Always bow to the faction creator, because you are such the pussy.
  125. Having a black father is your trump card in any arguement. Obviously, the opposition will have to concede you have a larger wang.
  126. Refer to Rule 121 after reading Rule 123.
  127. Rule 125 did not confuse you because some rules are mismarked. You're a badass.
  128. You're badass because you're an ass pirate. Remember that.
  129. Your first character development should be to become an Undead Ninja Pirate.
  130. Using amnesia is the best way to achieve rule 128.
  131. If your class isn't samurai, ninja or mercanery, you aren't badass.
  132. Your character always has the hidden power to destroy the world with so much as a fart
  133. A ninja samurai mercernary is the best class ever.
  134. Don't forget about the Masamune.
  135. You don't use the fart because it smells, and the girls don't like that, even if it is badass.
  136. Ryu is the best name ever.
  137. Consult Dragon Ball/Z/GT for best methods in partaking in a duel.
  138. Even if you're a ninja, you still have to use a katana. If anyone claims otherwise, tell them they don't understand the mystical ways of the ninja.
  139. Power-ups that take five posts to do are just plain awesome.
  140. Ninjas are so badass they don't have to follow the rules. That's right, use two axes.
  141. Kamehameha is your best friend in a fireball.
  142. If at any time you can use an ellipses, do it.
  143. .........
  144. You don't need to be a ninja to wear all black. In fact, ALWAYS wear black, just cause you're badass
  145. ... ellipses are a good way of conveying angst....
  146. Ellipses... are more... powerfu...l if used in... close proximity... to each other....
  147. If It isn't black, it isn't badass. Avoid anything with color.
  148. If DBZ is not your style, use Yu yu Hakisho to make yourself look badass, or any type of anime to your liking, like Gundam Seed.
  149. No events ever, ever take place during the day. Ever.
  150. The day is really just a myth. Really.
  151. Full moons happen EVERY night in your RPG
  152. Be sure to wear a leather trenchcoat at all times
  153. Always have a gundam to back your ass up. The chicks love it.
  154. Being "creative" means using synonyms. Example! Sword = blade.
  155. Never be in the military, despite having your own faction. That's just a contradiction, and being in the military involves rules, which is NOT badass.
  156. Giant mecha turn women on. Use it.
  157. Giant Mecha with Katana's are really badass.
  158. If not a gundam, use a pokemon. They girls will think of you as cute and powerful at the same time because of the added effect of your bad-assiveness.
  159. Giant mecha that serve no purpose are badass.
  160. Every single person across the galaxy is white and speaks English.
  161. Consult Star Trek for further info on Rule 159.
  162. Your character inherently understands all alien languages. Just because.
  163. Again, Star Trek, because Star Trek is badass.
  164. All alien species are on some divine quest to destory all human life.
  165. Black cloaks. Nuff said.
  166. If someone doesn't respond within the hour, they are obviously a n00b.
  167. One reason for breaking the conventions is to be unique and original. Everyone loves originality.
  168. Rule 166 is the most important, forget all other rules if need be.
  169. Latin chanting = bad ass. Latin translators = closely guarded commodity.
  170. Put things into older and less popular languages, if they sound cool. Read: Skill names in Latin.
  171. Latin is never Latin, but rather a long-lost langueage left by some alien species centuries ago